I am not a woman who should have a large amount of children. In fact, I never wanted more than two. One is a lonely child, so two for a playmate. After my first two boys, I had to try for a girl. I would push it for one more baby. Only the baby was a “he,” again, so my husband had a vasectomy and that was that.
Except it is never the end when you walk with God, is it? It is especially never the end when you neglect to talk to Him first before having a vasectomy. God began to speak to my heart about children. I read how they are a blessing and not a curse, I read about how He will control your family size, and I read about the joy of children. I thought God can control my family size all He wants, but science still plays a part. Children are a blessing and joyful but I need alone time to think. I was already feeling guilty for needing “me” time with three children. How would I cope with the guilt of more???
God is Still in Control, Even With Partial Obedience
God kept talking to my heart and I kept ignoring him. My husband kept ignoring him, mainly due to the pain that was going to occur with a reversal. We very clearly heard God tell us to adopt AND have the reversal. I thought, “Lord, you have the wrong woman! I am not a woman to have many children!” We decided to be half obedient and signed up for foster care. After having three boys I really wanted a girl, so we signed up for GIRLS ONLY. My husband came and spoke to me. He said God told him we were going to adopt a little boy. So get used to it. I snorted. Hog Wash.
This is clear and simple thinking; if I tell the state GIRLS ONLY, then I will ONLY get calls for girls. Until one night, we got a call for a boy. I told the lady that she was mistaken; I only wanted GIRLS. She said to call my husband. I did. I called her back and accepted the baby. I picked him up from the hospital and instantly he was my baby. Six years later, he is still my baby.
“For I know the Plans I Have For You…” and You Can’t Guess What They Are….
This was the plan I thought God had for me; adopt one child, have the reversal, have ten kids. Done. I prepped myself to handle this. I saved clothes, toys and baby items. I streamlined our house for the incoming horde of babies. Only none came. Five years after the reversal there are still no babies. We saw the doctor, he told us technically my husband has a fine sperm count, 30 million, but a typical man’s is over 100 million.
God stepped in and showed me that science is wrong. He is in control. He controlled the adoption of a boy when I tried to prevent it, and he has controlled the number of kids we have by not allowing any more pregnancies. I’m glad. Not because I don’t want more children, but because my adopted son was meth-affected, and has needed a huge amount of care to become healthy and whole. Our family could not have handled any more children until the one He gave us was healthy.
God has Plans for Other Children Too, and Sometimes, Those Plans Involve You
When my adopted son was around four years old I felt like I could breathe again. Life slowed down, and I started to wonder if God would say yes to a pregnancy. His birth mother had no problems getting pregnant. My son was her 6th child, and when he was four she had custody of her 9th baby. I remember very clearly around that time hearing God tell me we would have another child. Two days later CPS took custody of her 9th child, and called me to pick up my daughter.
I can’t tell you what plans God has with your fertility, if you will have bio kids or adopted kids. I can tell you that God doesn’t care about science or what you do to try to prevent Him. He will still be in control; He will still be God and take care of things. I can tell you, your only job is to obey.
The author to this story prefers to remain anonymous, but I think she presents a wonderful opportunity to talk about how fertility and family planning. Can you relate to this mother? Or do you disagree? What does family planning look like in your family?