This story is part of the Made to Mother™ Series, Unplanned Motherhood: Stories of Teen Moms. To read the others, please click here. In order to capture the purity of these young women’s accounts and the integrity of who they are as teenage mothers, I have done very little, if any, editing, so please be warned; their stories, in addition to being choppy, are raw, unadulterated and may not be suitable for all readers.
In December 2011 when I found out I was expecting a little bundle of joy, I was only 14 years old. I was so scared! I didn’t know how to tell my dad that I was pregnant. I knew that he was going to react negatively. My stepmom and I were really close at the time so I went ahead and told her. She promised me not to tell him until I was ready and had everything figured out. I knew that abortion wasn’t an option I don’t believe in abortions. I never have. I was thinking about keeping the baby.
One day I came home from school and my dad called my name. He sounded so mad at me. It turned out that my stepmom had told him that I was expecting. He slapped me across my face and told me that he was upset with me. That he never imagined his baby having a baby. I felt really bad inside. I kind of understand where he is coming from now that I have my daughter. I could never imagine her getting pregnant at 14. He told me that I wasn’t old enough to have a baby and that it was his decision whether I was going to have the baby or not. I told him I wasn’t going to have an abortion and he told me, okay, we will work around it. But he would change his mind all the time. He told me one that that he would help and that I had his support and the next day that I wasn’t old enough to have a baby. My stepmom and I talked about it and she said that I was going to have the baby, to not worry about anything because she was going to talk to my dad. Well, she did and it turned out that he agreed with me having the baby, but that they had to be the legal parents of my baby at the time. I didn’t know if that was true. They told me since I was underage the baby needed to be signed over to their custody. It was really weird that they were telling me all of that. What made it weirder was that my stepmom was trying to get pregnant for a really long time. She was even reading fertility books and it seemed pretty strange to me.
On my first appointment, I went ahead and asked questions about all the legal papers and who would be the legal guardian of the baby. The doctor told me that my age didn’t matter. That if I have a baby no matter at what age, I would be the legal guardian. I was so confused. I didn’t understand why they wanted to take the baby from me, but once I saw my stepmom reading all these books and talking to my dad about all the plans they had with my baby, it all made sense. They had wanted a baby and since they had trouble conceiving, they were planning on taking my baby away from me. I had a big conversation with them about it and they kept on saying the same thing; that I wasn’t old enough and that I was going to have an abortion. I refused to have an abortion and he told me that if I didn’t, he was going to kick me out of the house. So I just left the house.
When I came back all my stuff was outside and I was really confused. I didn’t think my dad was really going to kick me out, but he did. That day my mom came and picked me up. She took all my stuff to her house and we talked. She asked me why my father kicked me out and I told her everything that happened with my stepmom and dad trying to take my bundle of joy away from me and how they were telling me that since I was underage, they had to be the legal guardians of my child. She was mad, but once I told her that I didn’t agree to it and that they told me if I didn’t have an abortion, they were going to kick me out, she was furious. She called my dad and they had such a long conversation. Till this day, I don’t know what she told him. All I know is that she was really mad and that they had an argument about it. Months passed and my dad didn’t talk to me at all, I would see him around but we wouldn’t speak. He was still pretty mad and at that point I really didn’t care because all I thought about was my baby.
I was about five months when I found out that I was having a baby girl. I was so happy. When I got home I showed my mom and she was pretty happy too. It kind of sucked not being able to share my happy moment with my father. I called him but he didn’t pick up. I guess he was still kind of mad.
Months passed and August came. I was excited because my birthday was coming up. On August 3, I turned 15 and I had such a good day. I went out to eat with some friends and went swimming, too. It was a fun day. On August 17, I had such a good day as well. I was sitting down, eating a big burrito and drinking a big cup of pop. I guess I didn’t have such a great diet. I was just there relaxing and eating and all of a sudden I got the urge to pee. I got up and went to the bathroom. When I got up to flush, I realized that it wasn’t pee, it was blood. At the moment I was really scared. I wasn’t having any pain, so I didn’t understand why I was bleeding. I called my aunty and she rushed me to the hospital. I thought I was miscarrying, but I was too far along to have a miscarriage. When we got to the hospital, they asked me if I was in pain and I said no. The lady checked me and told me that I was 5 centimeters dilated. They told me that they were going to take me to a different hospital because I was only seven and a half months along, but that they couldn’t because I was dilating way too fast and they thought I was going to have the baby on the way there. The set me in a room and I still couldn’t feel the contractions, but once I got around 8 centimeters, I started feeling them and they were horrible. I thought I was going to die.
On August 18 at 1:00 a.m. in the morning, I delivered a beautiful baby girl. I named her Isabella. I was so happy. I went through so much just to have her in my arms. We stayed for 3 days in the hospital and got dropped off at home. My dad still didn’t call me to see if I was okay or if my daughter was okay. It was all over Facebook, so I’m pretty sure someone told him that I gave birth. He was just mad and didn’t want to talk to me.
Time passed and when Isabella was about a week old I found she was sick. She had something called Jaundice and was hospitalized for 4 days. It was so boring being in that hospital with no phone, no access to any internet. All there was to do was sit there and watch TV. I was going crazy. They told me that I was allowed to leave, but I didn’t want to leave my baby there alone.
When Bella was released I was so happy I was able to go home with my chunky butt. But then a month and a half later, she got sick again. She started spitting up a lot of mucus and it was coming out her nose at the same time. It got really bad so I took her to the doctor’s office and they told me that she was okay. It was just phlegm and babies spit that out a lot when they are newborns. They told me I should take parenting classes so I would know when things were going wrong with my baby. I knew nothing was okay when I took her back again and they told me the something. She just kept getting worse and worse. One night, she was having trouble breathing and I had to rush her to the hospital. It turns out she had pneumonia. Her lungs were filling up with fluid, I was so scared. My little bundle of joy was going through so much. She had to be hospitalized again because of it. I felt so alone being in and out of the hospital with my daughter and no one would call to see how she was doing. It was only me and her, no one else. I kept telling myself I had to be strong for my baby. It broke my heart knowing that she was sick, but I kept moving forward. I told myself that there is always a storm before sunshine. She got released from the hospital and for once I knew my daughter was okay.
Bella grew and grew. She started getting more independent and started talking, sitting up by herself and eating solids. She is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. Now, I’m 16 years old and Bella is one and a half. I have a job and I assist at a school in Cornelius called Create. Things are going really good for me and Bella. Yeah, it’s hard being a teen mom, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love being a mother. I love all the hugs, kisses and helloes my daughter gives me every morning and seeing her grow and the cute things she does and faces she makes. At the end of the day, I overcame everything to have my baby girl. I didn’t really have the help of anyone and I was only fourteen. I’m pretty sure anyone can do it.
May God continue to be with you & Bella. To bless both of your lives. I cannot imagine all that you have overcome but our God has given you a strong spirit for sure. You are a most courageous young woman to take a stand for the life of your little girl. I am certain God has great plans for each of your lives. Continue to cling to Him. Blessings!
Farm School Marm says
I found this post from Bacon Time’s link up – and I’m so glad I did. What a strong woman you are – to stand up for your baby even to your own father. I am a mom of 7 (one of them conceived when I was a teen) – and the best advice I have after 25+ years of parenting is to cling to God. Those on the earth will let you down, but He never will. God bless you!
Marleny, your story has some very difficult undertones. I can taste the pain you must have felt when your dad and stepmom betrayed you. It lingers in your voice, still, dear friend. But you are a survivor. You have chosen again and again to put yourself aside and do what is best for your baby (including the courageous decision to give her life!). The fact that you are now finding her such a joy and a sweet reward doesn’t surprise me one bit. Children transform their parents – that much I know to be true. Thank you for sharing your story here. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you, friend. All the days of your life.
Jolene Underwood (@Faith_Eyes) says
Marleny – your story is touching in many ways. In some ways I can relate and in some ways I am simply awed. I was a teen mom at 19, and most recently I have been a foster mom to many children. What I see in your story is someone who is willing to press on in tough circumstances to seek the best solution out of the worst conditions. May the Lord be your continued source of strength and may He bring guidance and comfort to your heart. As your earthly father walks in choices that do not echo the heart of our heavenly Father, may you be able to forgive and continue to parent with grace. Seek the one who WILL NOT LEAVE YOU – EVER. 🙂 Your heavenly Father loves you dear one! Blessings to you Marleny.
Antionette Blake (@ambde) says
God bless you and your little one and thank you for sharing your story at the #WWDParty.
Toni @ Finding Myself Young says
Im so glad everything worked out well for you and Bella.
Being a parent is hard work at any age. I give you credit for being the best mom you can be. I hope that you and Bella continue to do well and hope that one day your Dad and Step Mom come to their senses and will be a part of your lives.
What a beautiful story! <3
Sherrey Meyer says
Marleny, you are a strong young woman to face all that you have to keep Bella as your own and to continue to parent. It takes courage to tell a story like yours, and it is my hope that you keep this story written down just as it is here to share with Bella when she is old enough to understand. I pray the best for you and your little one. God’s blessings on both of you! Found my way here via the Unforced Rhythms linkup.
Just found your blog from the Click and Chat link up! I’m excited to be following along now via Bloglovin!
Beautiful story!! I’m really sad that your father and step-mother behaved as they did, however, I’m so happy you fought for your rights to mother your little bella!!
Beth Hess says
Marleny: I consider it pure beauty that you have learned to love your story and you’ve found the courage to share it at such a young age. I’ve met so many women so much older than you who still hide behind things that others have called shameful or embarrassing. What an example you are to your daughter that life and be very hard and very wonderful all at the same time. I applaud your bravery in being open about your feelings and experiences. Because bravery is contagious and helps the rest of us be courageous, too. Blessings to you and your beautiful girl! Thank you for having your story linked at Unforced Rhythms.
That was a very inspirational story. Even though you are a teen mom you keep trying to do your best. I am a single mother too. Not a teen mom, but I could relate to you on how hard it is that you have to do things on your own. Keep doing what you are doing, being a good mother and bettering yourself. Everything will work out for the best.
Hazel Irene Moon says
Being a mother is difficult no matter what your age, but I am glad you have little Bella and are making a life for you and her. Thank you for sharing your lovely post with us here at “Tell Me a Story.” At: http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/
Cheryl Smith says
Bless your dear heart! You have been through a lot, but you are an overcomer! You are SO brave to have made the right choice in keeping your sweet, little Isabella! You chose life, and God is going to give you strength to take care of that precious life and see this through. I am SO proud of you for standing firm and being a good Mama. I hope the dear Lord will send people into your life who will offer you the moral support that you need and you won’t feel so alone. Jesus is always with you…even when others let you down. Psalm 27:10 says this, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.” THIS is a promise for you, dear one. God bless you!
Pam Garrett says
Yours is a wonderful and inspiring story. Best of luck to you in raising your little girl. It’ll be hard lots of times, but find support to help you. Take care.
What a brave girl you are! Your daughter will want to hear it over and over. It will show her just how much you love her when she hears it. Praying you’ll find someone to help you on this journey of motherhood. ~Pamela
Lyli @ 3-D Lessons for Life says
Marleny, thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so thankful that you and Bella are together and thriving. God is going to honor you for choosing life and fighting for your baby. I pray that you will know how completely God loves you and Isabella, and that His love will fill your home and heart so that your past hurts will fade away as you look to God as your Healer and Hope — He will never fail you. May He give you wisdom and courage and favor. Hugs
How terrible what your dad and stepmom tried to do! Is he still not speaking to you?
Linked to this post by the Time for Mom Link Up! 🙂 http://www.thecrunchymomnextdoor.com
I’m so sorry that your dad turned his back on you. I pray that someday that relationship will be restored!
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Marleny, that’s an incredible story. I’m so sorry for all you went through, but I’m so glad you were strong and you and your baby are ok. Thank you for sharing your story.
What an incredibly touching story. Thanks for linking up to the parenting pin it party!