I am a mother of three boys and I have always heard comments like:
Are you going to try for your girl?
Three boys…whoa…you must be tired.
Or that awful saying that goes something like this:
A son is a son until he takes him a wife. A daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life.
For the most part, these statements don’t bother me – well, maybe except for the last one…who wants to ever think their child will go off and never return? What a terrible thought, but the statements aren’t exactly encouraging or uplifting, either.
Recently though, I heard a comment about my boys that I continually turned around in my head until it seeped into my heart and made me feel like I could not possibly be blessed more than by being a mother of three sons. We were visiting my grandmother in her senior living center and one of the ninety-something year-old ladies came up to me and said, “You have such beautiful boys.” Then she hesitated, as if trying to decide if she should say more before finally adding, “I have three sons too and I love it. They take such good care of me.”
She said it with such joy and pride and went on to tell me how they treated her so well. She ended our conversation by firmly stating, “They take better care of me than any daughter ever could. I am so happy I have three sons.”
Her words were lovely and I felt uplifted.
If I think about it, I can see my boys also being amazing to me if someday I found myself in her shoes. They already have all kinds of super hero powers and are continually fighting off the villains that daily enter our home. I know they will always be my protectors.
I am their favorite girl and they tell me so each and every day. How lovely will it be to always have three handsome men visiting me no matter how old I am? That’s got to be good for the ego.
With them around, do I really ever need to open a door for myself? I will always be treated like royalty.
You should see some of the stuff they come up with when building Legos or how they strategically place their Spy Gear around the house so they know exactly what is going on. To me, these are signs of brilliant, future adult minds, all capable of taking care of their mom.
As the lady at the retirement home walked away, I called to her, “Thank you for saying that to me.” She turned back around and our eyes met. We exchanged a knowing look that only two mother of all boys would understand, connecting us across two generational gaps.
Mother of all boys. Yes, I do believe I hit the jackpot.
~~~~~
Cheryl blogs at www.sinceibecameamom.blogspot.com. She and her husband have three wonderful boys ages 8, 7 and 4. She loves blogging, photography and finding joy in everyday life.
I have two boys, besides my girls, and I love their compassion and sensitivity. You are blessed!
Welcome to the unofficial Mother of 3-Sons-+ club! I agree – with your comment about the quote. It’s almost like people are cursing us – and that’s not how it was over 100 years ago back to Abraham. Mother’s of sons only – God designed us for this, equipped us to be strong enough to do this. What sweet encouragement you found! I am so glad to hear a mom of sons only – who’s older than me – pass us words of encouragement like that!
Hooray for boys! I only have 2 but feel the same way!
http://www.518nymammaof2.blogspot.com
I have 4 boys and have heard all of these and more! Three weeks ago, I gave birth to a baby girl and now the comment that hurts the most is the “Oh, you finally got your girl!”. It bothers me most when said in front of my boys, as if they weren’t good enough so we just kept trying. My boys are amazing and are going to be wonderful husbands and fathers one day. There is nothing sweeter than dandelions from your little boy and their precious hugs and kisses before bed. I am blessed now to have a daughter, but I was ALREADY blessed with 4 amazing boys!
I love the words that sweet lady spoke. It’s amazing how an uplifting word can really stick. I actually have three boys too, and one girl who’s the oldest. They all bring me so much joy and love each day. Children definitely help me receive Love.
You are blessed! I am in the Mother of My Three Sons club too and couldn’t be happier about it. I never TRIED for a girl, I was always surprised and ecstatic that I was expecting. My Three Sons are now grown, 22, 27 and 33 and that elderly lady was exactly right. They watch out for me, they take care of me and they would protect me from anything and anyone. They CALL me and thank God for texting because we do it daily. You’re not missing out on anything, lol, you are in for the adventure of a lifetime. ♥
What a beautiful post. My Mom lives in a senior center which happens to be right down the street from where we live so we visit often. The residents there are always making beautiful comments about my 2 and they do seem to have a way with words. Words of wisdom…maybe?! I’m sure the words she spoke to you will remain with you forever!
I have two boys and I enjoy them so much. They’re great company and so easy to please. Give them their sports and food and they’re happy! #mommymoments
Boys are awesome! I have half a dozen of them! (and some girls, too, lol) Teen boys are easier than teen girls.
I tried having a boy! Because I was single til 35 and was very close w/ my two brothers. However, 3 girls and no redheads was no reason to keep having babies after 44…Great post – i have several friends w/ all boys and we have them over all the time. My problem? I love the boys my girls bring home… we’ll see how God leads…
Thanks for linking! I’ll send this to my boy-mom friends.
Ha ha, that is so sweet, Sue! I also had two girls right off the bat and faced similar (opposite) comments, and it made me think, in all honesty, we can say the same thing about having all girls. God has blessed us each with the children He gave us as part of His plan for our lives and I think the big picture Cheryl is trying to paint here is being content and joyful in however that looks. Thanks for visiting M2M and bless your sweet family!
Honestly, people really do say some thoughtless things! All our children are a blessing and we get what we are given. I have a girl and 2 boys and have to say that now they are all a bit older my relationship with each of them is different. That’s because they are different people, individuals, and has nothing to do with their gender. (I do completely agree with one of your other commenter’s here though – teenage boys are WAY easier than teenage girls!)
I have two boys and I get comments like this all the time! Most recently someone said to me “You have your hands full.” And for once, I actually said something back! Not a mean comeback, but I said “Thank you. I’m very blessed. I’m thankful that my hands are full and not empty”. It was one of those weird moments where I was speaking without actually thinking, but it’s such a true reflection of how I feel!
Amen! What a beautiful, graceful and TRUTH-filled reply!
I love this! I only have one child, a boy, now, but even now we hear “you’ll get your girl one day” or “that boy needs a sister!” If I have a girl, great, but if I continue to have all boys, that is great too! I will love them no matter if they are male or female! And I HATE that “a daughter is a daughter for life” garbage too…My father in law says that ALL THE TIME and it is so hurtful! What a wonderful comment that lady made to you!
Boys ARE such a blessing…. I have 4 of them and I treasure them (and make them leave creepy pets OUTSIDE!) 🙂 I have heard all of the sayings you posted also and I agree – that 3rd one was/is highly offensive… what an awful thing to say…. We also have 2 daughters and girls ARE such a blessing….. My take on it is that BOTH are such a blessing and whomever God gives to you/me is exactly who He wanted to bless you/me with. 🙂 I am so glad that you are enjoying those wonderful boys and not feeling like you need a girl to be complete anything!…. and that God encouraged you through that woman. Thank you for sharing. 🙂
I am a firm believer that whatever we are blessed with, as long as we nurture and we love, we have the perfect combination; I have a son and a daughter, both different, but I am confident that if I treat them well, they will treat others, and hopefully me well when I need it as I grow old and grey! Thanks for linking up to the parenting pin it party. Lovely to have you.
Tears in my eyes! I have a son and will most likely be blessed with yet another son any day now (almost 40weeks pregnant) and absolutely love this! Visiting from the Wine Down Wednesday Link Party!
XO/Lena @ Root&Blossom
We have three girls and two boys. The comments to us range from “Wow you have your hands full”, to “Okay, so you need to have another boy to even things out.” I don’t understand why we have to comment so, is it just trying to make conversation? I have decided that it is easier to compliment than to comment.
Mommy Crusader
MommyCrusader.com
What a sweet lady! I have two boys, and people are always asking me if I wished I had a girl. I love my house of men!
I am fortunate that I either don’t hear when people say these things or I don’t remember. Every child is a blessing and God made boys and girls equally wonderful and unique. Glad you’re enjoying your boys 🙂
i’m a mother of two boys. they keep me busy and sometimes stressed, but they sure are fun. thanks for the great reminder of what a blessing sons can be!
I was just at Chick Fil A earlier this evening letting my 3 little men (7,5, and 2) burn off some energy when another customer said, “Wow, I just noticed you have three boys! I bet you stay busy!” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that comment or one with a similar sentiment, I might actually be able to afford feeding these three hearty eaters 🙂 It is a busy life, but you are right in your post, they offer a sweet love that only a son can give, and I do know that as I grow old, I will be fabulously taken care of by my three little men. Thanks for sharing 🙂
My heart soars. Thank you!! I’ve had a saying with my son about caring for each other since he was small. It’s a special bond.
Boys are a blessing! As are girls, of course. We’ve got two boys though — wouldn’t trade them for the world.
I hate that people feel they have the right to say things like that! I have 2 boys and 1 girl and they are all exhausting…but I wouldn’t trade them for all the tea in China! My boys like painting their nails, shopping, and princesses as much as their sister loves superheros, trucks, and literally rolling in the dirt (apparently she was being a cat!)
Thank you so much for sharing this on the #SHINEbloghop!
Thank you for sharing your blessing! I too am a mother of only boys (2 + 1 stepson). As much as my heart longs for a daughter, I need to look for and see, really see, the blessings my young men are . Your story does my heart good 🙂
I wanted all boys. Eight of them to be exact. Now I have two girls and one son. I can’t have anymore. (I’m sad.) BUT! This post made my heart glad for many reasons. #1 being what you shared about him being mine for only a little while. #2 being, I love the perspective boys have of protecting their mom. So very darling. Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you all for your comments on my guest post. In many different ways, your comments all spoke to my heart. I so enjoyed reading them. And Wynter, thank you for letting me guest post. I will continue to enjoy reading your inspirational blog!
What a sweet, sweet story! Very encouraging! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your post with The Natural Homeschool and The Life of Jennifer Dawn Linky Party. 🙂
I have heard all these comments and more through my 30 years of parenting…and I have five boys!! This is just a precious piece and it encouraged me as I continue to raise two boys, ages 18 and 8! Enjoy, enjoy…a boys world is precious and special in its own way.
“I am their favorite girl and they tell me so each and every day.” – This makes my heart smile!
As a mother to two little boys I happily agree! I am often asked if I will try for a girl. I would love any baby, regardless of gender. But I always secretly love the idea of adding a third sweet boy to our mix:)
This post brought tears to my eyes!! As a mother of only boys, I hear these things all the time. And I worry that my sons will up and leave me one day and join their wives’ families since that’s what everyone says. I love what the lady at the nursing home told you, I’ve never thought of it like it <3
I’m the mother of all girls, but grew up with all brothers. People are funny, and I will never understand their comments. You ARE blessed with wonderful sons. Boys are great! (And so are girls 😉 )
Oh how beautiful!!! What a refreshing comment. Thanks for sharing!
Laura
What’s up friends, how is all, and what you wish for
to say concerning this piece of writing, in my view its truly awesome in support
of me.
I hope this is true but… my husband does not call, write or visit his mother very often. Maybe four times a year all combined. He loves his mom dearly, of course, but out of sight out of mind.
My father and his brother were the same way. They flat out neglected the poor woman leaving her to nearly starve to death, living alone in her 90s. Thank goodness her DILs stepped in to care for her. I know both boys loved her dearly when they were little but once grown, they really did forget about her and felt obligation to call or visit more than once a year.
So, I think it’s great that it doesn’t always work that way but from my experience, I don’t see boys keeping in contact with mom much after adulthood. It makes me sad to say it because I am the mother of a son, too, but it seems to me there is a reason for the proverb about sons with wives forgetting about mom. Sigh.
And one more thing.. in my neighborhood, there are five families around my block where someone elderly is being cared for by a family member. In every case, it is a daughter or DIL who is doing the work. I wonder if there are any real statistics on this.
I agree it is frustrating by these comments. I have two wonderful girls and all I get are comments about how people feel sorry for me and good luck. The grass is the same shade of green on the other side:) I think people just want to make a conversation and default to this statement no matter what the gender.
Hello and thanks.You have no idea how happy your story made me.Am also a mother of three hyperactive boys and couldn’t be happier.I actually did pray for three boys,why because as a teenager I was difficult and couldn’t imagine handling someone like me.I always regarded my mum as a super woman for her patience and prayers.
Thank you so much for this.I now truly feel hyper blessed
I love this! I have 4 boys! I adore being the queen of my castle!