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It’s Not a Competition, Mama, We are All on the Same Team

May 23, 2016

I’m gonna be honest. There are moments of each and every day when I do not feel like I’m good enough. The voices I allow in my head tell me that I will never be, have or do what others seem to succeed so easily at. The blogs I read, the Facebook posts I see, and the women I watch at school, the park, and at church make me feel dwarfed in talent and worth as a mother, a woman, and a person.

I look at everything in my world; from what I’ve accomplished to how my children behave, and it all seems to pale in comparison to the women around me that I’ve put on pedestals. On any given day it is easy to make anyone seem better than me, but on my worst days I am a master at self-loathing.

The fact is it’s easy to make a competition about life. We look at others in their best moments and compare them to the mundane of ours. The over-hyped and often unrealistic snippets we catch on social media never fully represents anyone’s entire twenty-four-seven, three-sixty-five life. And if these idolized women were honest, truly straightforward, they would probably admit that they also feel dull and drab compared to others.

Even if we did see everyone’s day-to-day moments, and still couldn’t shake that they had more, do more and are more than we could ever hope, the important thing to remember is that is for them. And we are called to something completely different.

motherhood is not a competition

As much as we tend to make it one, it’s not a competition. It never was. You have your life and your destiny, and I have mine. I could never live your calling because I’m not you, and you could never be who I am supposed to be, because only I can be the best me. And that’s okay. We each have our own path to walk, our own story to write.

Stop looking at the next trail over; quit peeking at your neighbor’s paper. Set out boldly on that road, YOUR road, with your head held high. Pour out your heart and soul into that story, YOUR story, and write it with passion and fervor.

Kacey Musgraves puts this point so poignantly in her song, “Biscuits:”

“NOBODY’S PERFECT, WE’VE ALL LOST AND WE’VE ALL LIED. MOST OF US HAVE CHEATED THE REST OF US HAVE TRIED.
THE HOLIEST OF THE HOLY EVEN SLIP FROM TIME TO TIME. WE’VE ALL GOT DIRTY LAUNDRY HANGING ON THE LINE.
SO HOE YOUR OWN ROW AND RAISE YOUR OWN BABIES. SMOKE YOUR OWN SMOKE AND GROW YOUR OWN DAISIES.
MEND YOUR OWN FENCES AND OWN YOUR OWN CRAZY. MIND YOUR OWN BISCUITS AND LIFE WILL BE GRAVY.”

If you find someone staring longingly at what you’re doing, encourage them, uplift them, and implore them to be the best THEM!

It’s not a competition; we are all on the same team!

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: Friendship, Motherhood, Wynter Tagged With: blogging, compare, comparison, compete, competition, encourage, Family, friends, Home, kids, life, mom, mom vs mom, mother, motherhood, mothering, Parent, story, uplift, woman

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Hi! I'm Wynter. Wife to Jonathan and mama to Chloe, Adaya and Liam. I am a writer, artist, MarCom professional, freelance editor, and an avid gardener, TV lover and chocolate-covered cherries addict. Come back here each week for new, powerful stories of motherhood from real moms across the mother spectrum. Read More…

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