Being a father is the most important job any man can have. The problem is it doesn’t come with any training, and when the time comes, you’re hired with no prior experience. There’s going to be many things you will need to teach your son. There are the obvious things like how to throw a ball, ride a bike, and teaching them to be respectful. One thing that’s often overlooked though is teaching your son how to treat women. I’ve put together this article that will hopefully help some fellow fathers out there with this topic.
More is Caught than Taught
You may have heard the term “more is caught than taught” from Rachel Cruze, a financial expert and author. The phrase is truer than anything. We can tell our children something over and over, but if we’re doing the opposite or not actually showing them, it won’t stick.
Your son will learn by example how to treat women by watching the way you treat your wife, daughter, and other females in your life. If you want to see your son grow up treating women with respect, dignity, and kindness you must make sure you’re doing the same thing. If you don’t set the example, other things could take your place. Things like music, movies, and peers will fill that spot instead, and you won’t know what your son is learning.
Small actions can make a huge impact. For example, instead of making your son help your wife carry in groceries, ask him to help you help your wife carry in groceries. The small difference in seeing you help your wife will make a difference.
Showing your wife affection in front of your son will help him see a healthy relationship. You might be surprised at the number of couples that won’t kiss in front of their children. A simple hug and small kiss as one of you head to work is normal. Studies also claim that that men who kiss their wives in the morning before going to work live five years longer than those who don’t.
By the time your son begins to date, you should have had the “birds and the bees” talk. It’s more important than ever to be there for your son during this age. This period of time is where he’ll develop how he will treat women. If you’ve been teaching through action, then he already has a head start! Don’t be afraid to discuss sex with your son. Whether you like it or not, it’s going to happen eventually. Just think back when you were a teenager. Make sure he knows boundaries and to use protection.
Without being overbearing make sure your son knows you’re open to any and all questions he has about girls. There’s this stigma in our culture that men should sleep with as many women as possible, but you need to make sure he knows that that isn’t a goal or how he should approach dating.
At this stage, your verbal suggestions play a bigger role. For example, make sure to gently remind him before each date to be respectful and treat the girl nice. Make sure he knows it’s about having fun and enjoying each other’s company. If you’re not the one telling him these things, he’s only going to hear about making out and having sex. He and all his peers are going through hormone changes and it’s normal. You’re there to balance the scales.
Before You Go…
I hope this article shed some light on raising your son to respect women. Knowing kids learn more from actually seeing vs being told makes a big difference. We can tell them something all day long, but if we’re not living it ourselves how can we expect them to?